STEP-BY-STEP WALKTHROUGH

Step 1: Pause and Name What You Feel (TRUTH)

“What am I feeling right now, and why?”

Conservative Principle: Self-awareness is the foundation of personal responsibility.

Example:

“I feel frustrated because I’ve asked for help cleaning the kitchen, but it keeps getting ignored.”

Question to Ask Yourself:

• Am I feeling a real emotion, or am I reacting out of habit or ego?

Step 2: Take Ownership of Your Emotions (NO BLAME)

“No one is responsible for my emotions. I own them.”

Conservative Principle: Self-governance means emotions are yours to manage.

Example:

❌ “You make me so angry.”
✅ “I feel angry when I don’t feel heard, and I need to feel respected.”

Self-Check Question:

• Am I using ‘I feel’ statements or ‘You always’ accusations?

Step 3: Identify the Need Behind the Emotion (TRUTH)

“What do I actually need—not just want?”

Conservative Principle: Needs should be realistic, not rooted in entitlement.

Example:

“I need to know we’re working together as a team. I need support with the kids tonight.”

Question to Ask Yourself:

• Is this a true need, or a demand for control or comfort?

Step 4: Set the Boundary (LIMITS)

“What’s okay and not okay for me going forward?”

Conservative Principle: Boundaries preserve respect, order, and responsibility.

Example:

“It’s okay if you can’t help every time, but I need communication and follow-through when you say you will. I will not keep repeating myself.”

Teaching Children Example:

“It’s okay to be upset. It’s not okay to yell. You can say, ‘I’m upset, and I need help.’ That’s how we talk in this house.”

Step 5: Invite Cooperation, Not Control

“How can we move forward in a way that works for both of us?”

Conservative Principle: Family is a team, but with order and mutual respect.

Example:

“Can we plan a better system so I’m not left with everything at night? I want to feel like we’re on the same page.”

Question to Ask Yourself:

• Am I asking for collaboration, or demanding submission?