How Being Offended Stops Growth & How to Listen to Those Who Love You

Running away from conflict rarely begins in adulthood. Children who grew up in homes with yelling, inconsistency, or emotional instability learned early that conflict leads to chaos. Psychologically, a child’s brain chooses the safest survival response: avoid, hide, or shut down. A conservative Christian perspective recognizes that many grow up without witnessing biblical conflict resolution—gentleness, patience, slow anger, and truth in love. Instead, they saw anger explode or emotions get brushed under the rug. From a naturopathic view, constant childhood conflict disrupts the nervous system, training the body to avoid confrontation because it triggers stress hormones. So, as adults, these individuals flee when conversations get uncomfortable—not because they’re weak, but because their bodies associate conflict with danger. This avoidance prevents growth because conflict is the doorway to healing, clarity, and maturity. Running away keeps relationships shallow and prevents deeper trust from forming. Staying in the conversation, even when it’s uncomfortable, is the only way to build resilience. Emotional adulthood requires us to unlearn what emotional childhood taught.